We Inherit Beliefs Like Family Heirlooms

The Childhood Lie That Taught Me Courage

If you grew up in Brazil, you were likely taught a simple truth: mixing mango with milk will make you sick. Every family knew this. Every child knew this. This was inherited belief passed down for generations, and often not questioned.

I was one of those children. On a hot summer day, I went to a juice stand and asked for mango with milk. The vendor refused to sell it to me. “For mango, I can only blend it with water. It is for your safety.” This was in the 1980s. Science knew it wasn’t true. People in most of the world knew it wasn’t true. Yet here was a grown man protecting me from a danger that didn’t exist.

But the truth behind that warning is stranger and far more revealing than it seems.

Mangoes in Brazil are everywhere. In the summer, they fall from trees faster than anyone can eat them. It was also an abundant resource during colonial times. Somewhere in a plantation, likely in the 1500’s, a landowner was interested in protecting their limited supply of milk. He told enslaved people that drinking milk when eating mangos would make them sick. Faced with the choice, they picked the fruit they had in abundance. That landowner’s story changed what they believed, and how they behaved.

The strategy worked. The lie became “truth”. Generations later it was still impacting behavior, even when there was science to prove otherwise.

I was taught the origin of this belief years later.

The takeaway shaped my worldview.

I learned to become a student of the gap between what we’re told and what is actually true. Of what is visible, and what lies underneath. Of what feels like common sense, and what was engineered for someone else’s advantage.

This curiosity led me to study Systems Engineering, where I came to understand the mechanics beneath the surface and the relationship between its parts. At Procter & Gamble, I was taught to guide the invisible forces that shape how people think, decide and act. For twenty years, I sharpened my skills on seeing what lies beneath the surface. Mastering data. Spotting patterns. Seeking the truth hiding behind accepted stories.

Always in pursuit of certainty. Seeking control in an uncertain world.

I learned the undeniable truth:

You can’t eliminate uncertainty.
But you can learn to see it clearly.

So when people describe my actions as courageous or brave, I see it differently.

For me, it is a calculus. I gather the data, I consider what is unseen, I investigate the origin, I separate what is fact from myth. Then, using the best information I can gather, I choose the path that makes the most sense — even if it’s uncertain or hard to walk.

That’s how, this year, I made the life decision that surprised me the most: I left the high-paying executive role I spent 2 decades working towards because the math said staying would cost me more than leaving. Even after I decided, people told me it was too risky—especially as a single mom. But the more data I collected, the more I arrived at the same conclusion.

What I learned in making that decision—and in studying the science along the way—is that courage isn’t what most people think it is. It’s not feelings. It’s not blind faith. It’s not even about being unafraid.

Courage is a calculation.

And like any calculation, it can be learned, practiced, and done better.

Which brings me here, to BRAVE Math.
A place to study courage differently — not as a feeling, but as a skill you build.

My goal is to help us make sense of courage in a way that makes it practical and relevant.

Each week we will study the science, learn the frameworks, and share the stories that help us move forward with clarity instead of fear.

Because courage isn’t about being fearless.
It’s about doing the math and taking the step, even when it’s uncertain.

PS: Walking away from my job in 2025 was an exercise in brave math.
But the path ahead is still uncertain. As I navigate what’s ahead, I will continue to do the calculus. There is a risk I will fail, and doing it publicly makes me nervous. I am doing it anyway because I calculated there is tremendous value in learning together, with a community who is also interested in making bold moves.

Send me a message with what is the biggest thing you hope to learn here. This will help me write content that is relevant to you.